Are your children flying without wings?

When I was a little girl all I ever wanted was to be a professional singer. I would sing at every opportunity. I spent hours practicing my performance in front of the mirror whilst singing into a hair brush pretending it was my microphone. 😂

No one really understood what singing meant to me. It was the only time when I felt I was being true to myself. It was the only time when I felt liberated. When I sang, I sang for no one else but me! It was my only release. I literally forgot about everything that was happening around me and got lost in the moment. It was just me and my music. 

Can you resonate?

 When I looked into the future, all I could see was a vision of me performing on stage and touching as many hearts as possible with my songs. 

My parents on the other hand were totally against the idea! There was absolutely no way that they were going to support my dream of becoming a singer.

 “Singing on stage is frowned upon in our culture”. “You are a girl, it is cheap for a girl to perform on stage”. “Singing is not a job, get yourself a proper job and proper qualifications”. 

This was their fear talking. They were so afraid of “what people would say” if they gave me permission to become a singer. 

“My wings were cut and I didn’t get a say”. My fate had been decided for me and that was that!

My vision remained a vision and over time I stopped writing and eventually I felt like I lost my voice and the singing stopped too. I continued on my journey and obeyed my parents rules. Eventually I landed myself a role within a well established corporate firm. I was working 9-5 in a role which I  disliked. I was not driven or motivated because I didn’t feel passionate about where I worked. I earnt good money but I felt empty and unfulfilled within. Hey, at least my parents and the collective community were happy!

Does this sound like you?

Whilst this is my story, there are so many stories like this. I hear them every day through my coaching sessions. 

Perhaps you wanted to be a footballer but ended up working as an accountant. You may have wanted to travel the world but settled for a 9-5 desk job. You wanted to live in the country but ended up buying a studio in the city. You wanted to marry the love of your life but were forced into an arranged marriage. 

Where you are today is based on a decision which your parents made for you when you were younger. Whilst they did not intentionally set out to “cut your wings”, at some subconscious level, they manage to do just that in the name of love. 

Let’s not forget there is no manual for parenting and all parents want the best for their children but they just did not know how to show up. 

We are more conscious today! We have the ability to be aware of our children’s needs. Our only goal is to see our children flourish and we aim to love them unconditionally. As a result, I invite you to support your child’s spirit. I encourage you to allow them to be who they want to be. I urge you to allow them to spread their wings so they can fly. 

When we cut our children’s wings, they will fly without knowing their destination. They will land at a location where they feel truly unfulfilled and empty. They will keep taking off and landing in search for something to fill the void which is missing in their life. That void is created when their wings have been cut and they are no longer true to themselves. 

Encourage your children to express who they are, allow them to be unique and focus on their needs rather than the needs of people who may not be around for you tomorrow. Your family is what matters the most, people come and go but your family are here to stay! 

Fly together and be happy.